The fire that I'm afraid of.

Today, I would like to share with you a story. About fire.
To be precise, about candle light.

About a week ago, I had a weirdest dream.
(No, actually, the weirdest was yesterday, but let's leave it for later ;).
I don't know if it's because I read to many things about "inner fire", samskaras (the habitual negative patterns), and burning them or was it actually my own struggles showing.
The only thing I know, that through the entire dream I was crazy afraid of that fire and that I will get burned, and my yoga mat will get burned.
It was like that: a yoga class, outdoor. Teacher that I hadn't seen before in my "real life". Very many people, mats very close to each other.  The teacher is lighting the candles, very little. Putting them in between the mats. The candles are wobbling in the wind. The ground is uneven and shaking. There is a huge candle, the biggest of all. It is placed very close to my mat and it's terribly wobbling.
Once again, the only thing I'm afraid of is this fire. And burning.

That's ok if anybody thinks I'm crazy. But that was my dream.
Enjoy your Saturday!
J

Something positive

Is there any way that you can squeeze something positive into your life, into your dialy schedue?
Every day, one little thing or activity that makes you smile and makes you feel alive, well balanced and make you feel like you take care of yourself. 
Think of how your life would change if you could do something like that every day for a long time? 
Can you make space for yourself every day?
For me this is yoga. It means all those things for me. It's pretty surprising that my day unfolds differently when I start it with practice.  It's calmer, more balanced and it's easier for me to keep peaceful mind through the day, no matter what happens.
Yesterday, I had to be at work early that's why I couldn't go to Mysore class. I really felt different through the day, I was becoming restless and nervous. 
I went to the evening led class and by the time I was getting to the studio I felt almost sick. 
Not to mention it was really hard for me to get up at 6:25 am to go to work, not to yoga. Because if I get up for yoga, it's much easier. 

I even started to read some yoga books, I just finished "Guruji" and started off with Kino Macgregor's "Sacred Fire".  I've been wanting this book for awhile now, and was unaware that actually the studio I go to sells it on the front desk. I am on third chapter now - it's very inspiring and interesting to read about somebody else's experiences. Actually, many things make sense to me and some remind me of myself. I am too, like she said she was, overenthusiastic beginner who yet does not know much, but wants to share everything ;) Its funny that everybody started somewhere! I recommend this book to anybody keenly interested in Asthtanga yoga. 
Enough for today!
Enjoy your practice,
Joanna

Trouble in asanas

Today I decided to write a post about asanas/vinyasas that give me or were giving me a lot of trouble for various reasons. Enjoy reading ;)
Just a reminder that I'm a complete beginner to ashtanga yoga, and been practicing regularly (6 days in week) since a month or so. I'm obviously dealing with the primary series here :) this post here is not to complain, but to simply show what problem do I have in some of the asanas, and what is here to work on. Maybe somebody can sympathize with it ;)


Chaturanga Dandasana in vinyasa
Although I've been familiar with that asana before and performed it with not much of a trouble, when the class progresses until the end and we do vinyasa over and over again, my arms started to weaken and that is what was happening: 

So many times I hit the ground before my muscles got a little stronger and my 

alightment a little better. I no longer fall in chaturanga. Well... At least not on regular basis ;)

Prasarita padhottanasana C

(Bending over with legs spread apart and hands together behind the back)

This is like, I should write a poem about my troubles in that asana. Especially when my teacher comes to correct me. The problems are: my head doesn't want to release, my weight doesn't want to go forward, I'm afraid of falling over, and my legs go toward the split when they should stay in place. I have problems with locating and holding my inner tights in parallel position. Oh and also did I mention that my feet go on their outside edge? 

I feel like I have a lifelong task with that asana :)

Utthita hasta padangusthasana 

(Standing balance position) 

This is a great asana to practice jumping.

(Just kidding. My inner comic never sleeps ;)I heard a lot of people having trouble with that. It's very hard asana for balance. I found it especially hard when you have to take the leg to the side and look the other way, and the only thing that is in front of you is a white wall. Only worst if someone is wobbling in fort of your "concentrated gaze". I have hard time concentrating in that asana. Maybe it is the part of why I'm wobbling. 

Marichyasana C and D

(Sitting and twisting position)

In C, without teacher , it is sometimes hard for me to reach for my wrist. But it so much depends on a day! One day it is no problem, and on the other one, I am so stiff that it is hard to even reach for fingers. Also keeping the "standing" foot strong is sometimes a challenge. I also tend to forget about keeping the other foot active. 

Marichyasana D continues to be a puzzle for me, I'm pretty much unaware of what's going on there, not to mention that I can't reach for my hands yet. 

Maybe the understanding will come with time ;)

Urdva Danurasana 

(Bridge position)

While I did bridge before and hadn't had any problems with it, it is quite different in ashtanga yoga than in acrobatics (yes, long time ago, I did acro ;)

Your heels have to go outside, you gotta push really hard with your legs and what is still hard to understand for me, straighten your elbows and push with the hands. 

Trying my best, but I guess my elbows are still bent. How about breathing Jin Urdva Danurasana? What about it? ;)

And to go up in inhale! Its so many things to remeber!

Urdva Padmasana

(Shoulderstand with the lotus)

Is an everexisting struggle to not roll over. Also getting to the position from Sarvangasana isn't easy, the lotus position should be probably done without using hands, but while I can't do it yet, I hold my back with one hand, and manipulate my feet with the other, trying very hard to not roll over ;) 

And then in the position, to keep your elbows straight..

.

Sirsasana

(Headstand)

While I do manage to stand, and straighten the legs, I do have troubles with gagging if I am already vertical or not yet. If I am vertical and I think that I'm not, then I go over and fall. ;)

I try to remember about keeping my shoulders down and my elbows and forearms towards each other. And my belly strong! Also it is a challenge to breath in that position, but I try.

 

Utpluthih

Very hard to lift yourself up and keep it there! And breath....

Savasana 

Yes, you heard me right. I have problem with Savasana. Relaxing is one of my main problems , and also the drifting away in thoughts rather then clearing up the mind happens. It's hard to relieve muscles from constant tension and stress.

Vinyasa

The entire vinyasa sequence, the one in between sitting positions, is really challenging for me. I just recently learned how to roll my feet in between "da dogs" (not just one at the time). Obviously the jump back - jump through part is very challenging for me. I just started working by walking a little back and then jumping, and keeping the hands shoulders width apart is one of the worst challengers ever :) 

Also from the chaturanga to upward facing dog, I just have to touch the ground with my upper legs, no matter how much I try to not to. I keep on repeating to myself, everything slowly, one step at the time :)

Well, that was long. It's actually fun to write down all those things. It's quite amazing how some problems in the asanas reflect my problems in "the the real life".

Luckily, yoga is a real life too!

Hope you enjoyed this post with a little bit of humor.

Enjoy your practice, cheerish the journey, and get 1/4 of milimetr better every day :)

Joanna

Pranayama and competition

Pranayama

First thing that I want to look at is Pranayama. For the last couple of weeks I've been taking the special Pranayama class, that the studio offers on Saturdays.
I must say that I find it extremely hard. But it also made me discover many things about my breath and body. More than anything, my breath is super shallow and nervous. The biggest challenge for me is to equalize the time of inhale and exhale. My inhale is very short and tense. I find it very difficult to lengthen the inhale without adding extra tension. Thanks to pranayama,  I discovered many tensed places in my body.  I feel like my awareness had been put somewhere where it should go...
Also, there is one thing I discovered in myself - I started to incorporate ujjayi pranayama into my daily life, quite subconsciously. If something hurst me, or I feel anger accumulating, or I feel unwell, I just start the ujjayi. It really helps. If feels like first time in my life I am really breathing!

Non- competitive nature of ashtanga yoga 

What an awesome change for a dancer!  It feels like a relief that is hard to describe. 

Let's face it, dance is a constant competition. At its own extreme - ballet. Who's gonna get the leg higher. Who's gonna do more turns. And of course, who's gonna get the job. But hey also the conceptual dance.... It's actually constant fight for funding. I got tired of all that. Besides, I'm bad in competing. Unlike Harry Potter, I'm never the chosen one ;)

For me yoga is such a dramatic change in the matter. It isn't about how many asanas can you do, but about the very fact of practice and personal growth as well as spiritual path.  There is a video of Kino MacGregor that refers a little to that, patience and the value of daily practice.

On the LOL side, don't get to minimal ;)

(Is lazy da word?)

Have an awesome week and stay inspired!

Joanna

Like I was born again
Starting a new life
And smile on the face
Like I never lived before
I live now
Everything is easier and harder with the smile on face (don't forget the smile)
Happiness with current things
Present moment
Little change,
Bliss.

Doing myself a favor.

One of the things that puzzled me the most in my practice, is getting up very early to go to Mysore class. Mildly said, I was never a morning person, and now I get up between 5:30 and 6:50 am every morning without much of a problem. So I obviously asked myself why, and what makes me get up? Could yoga practice be so beneficial, than even I can be transformed into early bird on the spot?
The truth is, that by getting up early and heading to practice, I feel that I'm doing myself a big favor. I have this hour and a half to have a conversation with my body and mind. I feel like there is no better thing that I can do for myself. I'm giving myself this opportunity to grow in both physical and spiritual way.
One of the things that fascinates me in ashtanga yoga is that it isn't only physical practice but it also leads toward awaking the mind. I've been always wanting to look deep inside me, but there was never time or room, or I didn't know how to make time or room for that. That's another reason to wake up at 5:30am. To make this time and room.
I've been always magnetized by things that are hard and uneasy to achieve. More than achieving any particular goal, I was fascinated by the path itself. Ashtanga yoga is the path that really draws and keeps my attention. It is complicated and easy at the same time, takes very long time, requires patience and dedication, humility and dealing with one's ego in the regular basis.
These and many other reasons can be good to get up early and go to practice :)
So I encourage you to take your butt of the bed and go to Mysore class!
Joanna

Beginnings and the benefits of Ashtanga yoga

Hi guys, I'm Joanna, and I live in Warsaw, Poland. I started this blog to share my journey of practice of Ashtanga yoga. I hope you enjoy it. Please share your experiences in comments, I would love to hear about your point of view.
I've been always an active person. Throughout my childhood, I was doing multiple sports like horseback riding, ballroom dancing, soccer, tennis, etc. It seems that it was a part of my body and mind hygiene to constantly keep on moving.  While in my late teens I got interested in dance in particular and started taking up ballet and then also contemporary dance. I completed Merce Cunningham Studio International program training in September 2011, and back in Poland, created my own dances and pieces. My main tools of work are improvisation and instant composition.
I had contact with a yoga before, though it was never and intense and committed practice. I did some Hatha yoga, a little bit if Antigravity yoga (the one with a silk hanging out from the celling), then a little of Ashtanga and a tiny little bit of Kundalini. So I did nothing really right actually, and always stayed a little confused about how should yoga work and what can it bring.
When I did Asthanga though, even for a short time, I felt a positive shift in my mood, but the place I took the class, seemed not really a right place for me, without people committed to Ashtanga in its clear form. So my practice didn't continue there.
I heard from my friend about Astanga Yoga Studio, in Warsaw city centre and I decided to give yoga another go. I loved it from the first class. First week I took only led classes, to get the sequence into my head and revise the allighement the basic postures, and then I went to Mysore class, although a little aftraid that i won't remember the sequence but I also loved it.
The studio is very bright and has uncluttered atmosphere, friendliness is in the air and - first and foremost, the teachers, are truly passionate about Ashtanga yoga and are in constant training themselves.
First, I thought ok, I will try. And I loved it. It's been only 3 weeks and I'm going to Mysore every day. I'm not going to stop. Why? Here are some benefis of doing Ashtanga yoga, that I listed. These don't have to be true for everybody, but they are true for me at this very moment.
1) After the practice, I'm much calmer, there is no stress accumulated; my body and mind feels cleansed, all the obstacles move away.
2) I'm smiling though the day....
3) I'm energized and alert throughout the day. I'm not sleepy or lethargic. My senses are open.
4) Some of my nervousness and nervous habits had disappeared  or are becoming more conscious and less bothersome. When I realized that yesterday, I couldn't believe it. And also what's interesting about it, that when there was a moon day and there wasn't any practice, one habit returned, just for that day.
5) I rise early. (This seemed impossible when I looked at the schedule and was like, oh 7am hymmm). I would usually get up around 9am, such a time waste! Now i get up between 5:30 and 7:00 am. I'm also working on having positive associations with the mornings. (Thats one of my personal issues..)
6) I discovered where the tensions are in my body and how it can possibly reflect in my mind and vice versa and started to work through them (although I think it might prove to be a very long process).
7) I became a conscious vegetarian, out of a need that came deep from the inside (at least that's what I thought it was). I am still having a fish once a week so I'm probably not a full vegetarian yet, but moving there. Also I hadn't had a particular need for sweets in a last couple of weeks. As it is with meat, I just didn't feel like eating it, but it was also caused by awareness of ahimsa (non violece).

Its all pretty big for 3 weeks and I'm sure there is more. I'm completely hooked on ashtanga yoga right now! I will keep you updated on how does it go.
I also want to mention that I sometimes wondered why hadn't I loved yoga before? It was probably a right time for me, right place and right people. I'm grateful that light of yoga is brightening my path, right now at this very moment :)
Some cool links:
 Are you in Warsaw and considering taking up yoga? Here is a cool school with dedicated teachers
Astanga Yoga Studio
For videos, articles, and wise yoga talk and inspiration visit Kino MacGregor page KinoYoga


Enjoy and comment your own experiences!
Joanna