Changing my mind

(No, I did not "changed my mind" and stopped practicing, quite the opposite ;) getting more and more into it.

So,
Hello,
I almost finished re-reading "Guruji". I had this need to do so, as I read it almost 2.5 months ago and now I have a little different perspective on things, and wanted to read some stuff again ( That way also read Kino's "Sacred Fire" 3 times ;)
Anyway, I've been looking for some reference for changes that I see in myself, or are just beginning to develop. I also been browsing the web, looking at other peoples blogs or articles and enjoying seeing other people perspective.

Changing my mind.... You mean MY mind?    That can take a lot of work man.
Sometimes (most of times), I think that my mind is so entangled, that I will never untangle it. Impossible is nothing though, cause I already noticed some tight knots loosening...
I'm not sure though how did it all happen. I read a lot about the transformational work the practice does to our body and mind. I know Yoga  Chikitsa is yoga therapy, body cleansing and I know Nadi Sodhana is nervous system purification. I know it's all even scientifically proven, but I don't know how exactly does it work. I just know that it works. :)
Seriously, if it didn't work, why would I do that?
That's why I also got some perspective on why did I never got hooked on yoga before. Because, it just didn't work. And when something doesn't work, I just drop it.
So anyway, here is something happening to me. I can read whatever I want, for inspiration but I believe is the practice itself that does all the change.


Nervousness and morning nausea
It's been something that's been bothering me like forever now. I got up at the morning, every morning, with terrible nausea. It was not because of anything that I ate. No matter what I would eat, I feel like that. I knew, it was stress. From about 2.5 months now, I didn't have it ONCE. I mean, I felt sick for other reasons, but then I knew that I was not nervous, I was just sick because I ate something, or whatever. I used to dread mornings so much because I was afraid I will get sick. It also had to do with me having bad associations with mornings from when I was a child. I was thinking if I put something positive in the morning, it will change.  Now mornings are my favorite part of a day. I don't know if it's also not like yoga would remove some of big amounts of stress that been hanging over me, in some magical way that I can't explain yet ;) I don't know, it's only that all the morning sickness is gone.

Hard situations, conflicts, interactions  & peace
Everyone has them. Doesn't have to be a disaster, but even a little argument or rude stranger, that can put you off for an entire day. Or problem that is in your head, doesn't let you rest. Or a delusional problem that is in your head.
I would react quickly, say things I regreat, heat the conflict even more, and make myself even more nervous than I was before.
For whatever reasons, and however it happened... Whenever something's sets me off, I take a step back. I prefer to not say anything than to say something that will only stir up more. I obviously don't want someone to step on my head, but I don't raise my voice and act as calm as I can. I try to always think of Ahimsa and compassion, although it's really hard to have a compassion towards someone who is really mean to you. I just remember that this person is also suffering for whatever reasons, and replace the anger with compassion. I think it's really hard, but worth trying. I think there is enough of anger and violence in the world and I deffinetly do not want to chip in to that, or add more gasoline to the fire.
I made a vow with myself, that whatever happens, I will keep my peace. I don't know how it works, and how did it came to my mind, but it works.

The same things is with delusional problems that I sometimes invent when I'm bored ;) I try to not panic but welcome them with peace. The same is fear. I sort if learned to face it. It seems like I had this ideas in my mind before but I just felt like I have no tools or no idea how to apply it. It feels like yoga gave me those tools, I just don't know how.... :)


Patience Incorporated Ltd. ;)
One little thing I got, and I kind of know how did it got it is more patience.
I think is when I can't get some posture for some time, and I keep on trying every day. It instilled this patience within, and I've noticed myself being more patient with my students. I'm really greateful for that because I really do need it every day :)

Living in now
I really try to be present at all times. It made me notice the little things that I seem to not notice before. I can smile at sunrise or sunset. I enjoy feeding birds in the area by house. I love to smile to child in a bus, or a stranger. There are so many things that make me happy and they are not in the past or future.

Laugh
I've been laughing more and more, throughout the day.
Couple if years ago I wondering if I will ever regain some of my bubbliness and simple happiness I had before some of not-so-happy happenings in my life.
I've been always trying and I never knew how to do that, how can I laugh again?
About two weeks ago, one of my regular students said, "you know, you're always happy, you're always laughing, you're always in a good mood". And then I thought, yes I am. I don't remember last day that I would not feel happy at least 50% of the day. I don't remember last day that I wouldn't laugh at least couple of times.

These are only couple of things, but these things are really important to me.
I'm really greateful for it. And I feel that the good change will continue :)
Enjoy your practice!
Joanna

Biting into Second Series (Or Second Series biting into me ;)

Hi guys,
Lovely weather today in Warsaw. Sunny and warm, when I got up at 6 am I was really wowed how nice the weather was already. :) two months ago when I got up at that time, or at 6:45 bus, it was already dark.

Lately, I've been enjoying some new challenges re:Second Series, and wanted to share my experience so far, although very little experience ;)
For the time being, I'm doing first 3 postures, started to learn about 3 weeks ago.
First I have to say that I forgot how it is to learn a new posture and that it is not only new posture but also new vinyasa. I remember when I was learning Primary Series, my stamina would feel challenged to the point that I couldn't catch breath after the practice. It gradually got better as I got used to more postures. I just remember that adding Setu Bandhasana. After that for  about two weeks after the practice I was completely wiped out.  And then my body got used to. But then, another teacher came in and I started to learn some of other vinyasas like the one after Bujapidasana or Supta Kurmasana.
Because one has to remember when you learn new posture it's also a vinyasa, which is usually as hard as the posture itself or sometimes even more difficult.

So the first three postures I would say, look deceptively easy.  Ok let's say the first two look deceptively easy, cause the third one did not appear easy to me at all ;)
Let's do it one by one (also with vinyasas).

Pasasana
This posture is a combination of twist and balance, and pretty  difficult bind.
I usually have to be carefull to not compromise the bind for the twist. I bind both sides although the second side seems more difficult, and try to not forget the twist. And when I remember the twist I then have to figure out the balance part and just be careful to stand on two feet. And look back. :) a lot of things to think about :)

Then vinyasa is jump back to chaturanga but first you gotta go on your hands and tuck the knees to the chest. Not so easy :)

Krounchasana
So the first challenge here is jump into the posture. I can't do it yet, especially on the other side. But I keep on trying.
Then another challenge is to bring up the leg straight without rounding the back to much. Here is a nice video of Kino about it:

Then there is a vinyasa, but you have to jump back directly from the posture, without crossing the legs. First days I tried, I rolled my mat with the front leg ;) 

Then I also managed to hit myself couple of times with the leg, I still don't know how did I do that but I sort of knocked myself out once ;)

Then I figured that maybe I can bend the front leg and turned it out a little. I'm not sure if it's not cheating a little ;) but that way I can jump back, it's not very smooth obviously, but maybe in a couple of years or so.... :)

Shalabhasana A and B

The latest addition is Shalabhasana. You enter the posture from chaturanga. 

It's really the hardest one though, because it is a backbend and I'm usually a scared of backbends. ;)  I don't have much to say about it yet, because I learned it just today, so more information will surely come, when I start to figure things out a little more :) 

So right now I'm hitting close to 2 hours of practice time. I need about 1 hour and 50 minutes to do everything. Good thing is that I don't have to rush anywhere in the morning, can have some time to rest afterwards. Anyhow, I do enjoy new challenge :)

That's it for today I guess :)

Till next time!

Joanna